A few days ago a friend texted me with an interesting question: Do you believe in soulmates? I laughed to myself and answered, How deep down the rabbit hole do you want to go?
You see, there’s phenomenon in the internet called the Twin Flame connection. All you have to do is type the phrase in Google or YouTube and you’ll find plenty of information, including the good, the bad, and the downright loopy! Lately, I’ve been feeling guided to open up about my thoughts on this phenomenon and what the experience is like. It’s overwhelming because there is so much ground to cover that it can’t possibly fit into one article!
Trigger Warning: Before we jump into learning a bit about the Twin Flame Journey, I want to take a moment to say that everything I publish is for the purpose of sharing information or experience so that it may help others. What you are about to read below is authentic and not meant for the average reader as a sales pitch. If the very idea of Twin Flames is triggering you, sounds silly, or if you’re looking for tips on “how to keep a man”, you might want to leave right now – This is not the article you’re looking for.
What is a Twin Flame?
Generally speaking, the term Twin Flame refers to two people, and two people only, who share the deepest energetic connection possible. Many people describe it as two people who share the same soul, as if it was split into two.
I’m on the fence about the split-soul idea and I won’t debate it here, but I will say that I believe that Twin Flames are two people that have lived many lifetimes together, and have experienced similar situations and difficulties that result in them mirroring each other’s frequency at an astounding rate. Twin Flames are whole, complete souls… that are completely entangled.
“They are in fact, mirrors of each other and reflect the divine feminine and masculine energies which exist in each other. Those energies exist in us all, but in Twin Flames they are complementary to one another. That is not to mean they are always the same or always opposite in terms of their personalities or other identifiers of who we are, but merely complementary to each other. It is a soul connection of the highest order and is a matter of identical energetic frequency.”-WhisperingInk
Twin Flames vs. Soulmates
A soulmate is a person with whom you feel an intimate connection. They’re people with whom we’ve shared past lives and have come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, making them soul friends – soulmates.
We have many different kinds of soulmates, and they can enter our lives in different ways:
They can appear as temporary friendships or romantic interests. I call them Reminders because come in to help you re-experience something from a past life, so you can get in touch with an energy that will help you choose what you want in your current life. Reminders can also be places or countries! It’s that sense of “oh, my soul remembers this, I want to be closer to it”. This can also have an opposite effect that could trigger unexplained fear or blockages.
Known as the enemy, frenemy, or toxic relationship, Karmics help you (or drag you) through a life stage by bringing in lessons that are meant to clear out karma between you. Karmics can also bring in a lot of light into your life, appearing as mentors, teachers, guides, parents, or children – because let’s face it, sometimes we’re the toxic ones!
The Proper Soul-Mate
You and these lovely beings have decided to be around each other in this life for funsies. You can be best friends, family, lovers, co-workers, even pets! In the case of proper soul-mate lovers, some lucky people get to marry each other, making this the classic romantic “Soulmate” dynamic we often hear about.
Although it can be difficult to explain a soulmate connection, you can usually find the words to describe it. Most of those explanations sound like “We just get each other” or “It was just one of those things”.
Characteristics of a Twin Flame Connection
The Twin Flame connection is romantic in nature because that is the deepest and fastest way to for souls to evolve. Many people experience romantic love for a soulmate that dissipates, and although it is difficult at first, the parties involved are able to detach, move on and encounter happier relationships down the line.
Yet, no matter where they go or whom they are with, Twin Flames will continue to share a telepathic connection because they are energetically entangled. It’s one of the most loving and transformational experiences, but it invariably involves a process of tumultuous inner pain. Here are some of the key characteristics:
You instantly catch a shining spark in their eyes that you have seen in nobody else. You both see it, and you both know that you are both seeing it. You know that you know that you know.
The magnetism is surreal. You feel a pull to be near the person because you belong nowhere else, it just doesn’t make sense. Separation feels like your soul is gasping for air.
Joy fills your body like fresh air. There’s a giddiness, laughter, and an aura of light that surrounds you both and people can’t help but notice it.
You feel a surge or shock of electricity in your body when you touch, particularly if it’s the first time or you haven’t touched in a long time. A slight brush of fingers will have one or both of you trembling.
This one is interesting! You speak in words, but it all feels somewhat surreal. When you try to replay a scene in your mind, it feels as if you had been speaking in a different language. Hours might go by in what feels like minutes.
The reason why the conversation feels surreal is because you mostly communicate telepathically. You might think that you are talking, but it’s mostly your astral selves having the communication. Your vibrations merge quite often and it might feel like you’re having telepathic conversations for days, dream with each other, or even feel each other’s presence. Some Twins communicate with each other through music or song lyrics that they “send” to each other – the Siren song.
This connection happens fast, and it cannot be put into words. It happens quickly because it is simply inevitable, which brings me to another great point about the Twin Flame connection:
Twin Flame connections and journeys happen among adults, and there’s a reason for that: Your prefrontal cortex fully develops by age 25, which means that a potential Twin’s vibration hasn’t even begun to settle in properly until then. Anything before that is probably a soulmate connection that feels exceptionally exhilarating, but it is not a Twin Flame.
What Twin Flames are Not
While this all sounds like a storybook novel, it really isn’t! This journey requires you to be in constant contact with your emotional and spiritual healing, and this experience can be brutal. It’s called a journey because following it is a conscious choice. Take a look at what the Twin Flame Journey is not about:
It’s not a Fantasy
Oh, how you wish it were. And you will be told to get over it, repeatedly. A word of caution – There are only 2 people in every Twin Flame Journey, and only they know what they’re experiencing. You have a lot of inner healing to do and you don’t need to stagger this process any further by bringing in perceptions from outsiders…!
It’s not for Everyone
Many people are drawn to toxic push-pull dynamics and triangulation stories of romantic suffering. They will convince themselves that they are Twin Flames in order to keep the toxicity going, but this is not the Twin Flame Journey – it is a low vibrational experience of gossip, deceit, and ego attachment. It’s also important to point out that naysayers (people who don’t “believe” in twin flames) are very possibly attached to that same mindset, thus falsely believing that they are “above” it. Make no mistake: the Twin Flame journey is a deeply spiritual process that can only be available to people who are vibrationally ready for it.
That being said, keep in mind that not all spiritually-minded folks are in this journey! Those who know, truly know because a conscious choice has been made here. And it’s a tough one.
It’s not Meant to Be
You’re not necessarily meant to be together as a couple, but you are bound to meet. It’s not destiny bringing you together, it’s your vibration and your choices that pull you to each other. Whether it’s in the physical 3D realm or in the astral plane, it’s always there.
It’s not a Soul Contract
Contracts can be broken. This connection arises from a frequency that is timelessly experiential – it is a vibratory match that can’t be broken. You can choose to reject the healing journey and not engage in the conscious inner healing & self-love process, but you might continue to experience the connection in the form of confusing lucid dreams, psychic intrusions, and a pattern of constant frustration or rejection in relationships. You’ll always be confused about it and wondering if you’re making it all up, and this experience of self-doubt will continue to plague your romantic relationships until you decide to go within.
It’s not Your Destiny
One of the parties can absolutely choose to reject their Twin Flame in favor of other karmic experiences, and that’s ok (see above). However, as long as one Twin is doing the healing work, the other will feel the ripple effect and the healing can only grow. Thus, you will always find each other being “activated” or “brought back online” from time to time and each time might feel more elevated than the last. This is why the Twin Flame Journey can be so confusing… but also rewarding.
It’s Not Like the Movie Serendipity
This is a lovely romantic movie in which both main characters are “awake” and aware of their connection. While it’s fun and uplifting to watch characters like these search for one another, that’s not really the case with Twin Flames. One Twins tends to awaken first, and it’s not unusual for it to be the Twin who identifies as Female or has their feminine essence more active than their masculine essence. This simply happens because feminine energy is intuitive by definition. This is the part of you that will be awake, catch on to what’s going on, and decide what to do about it.
It’s Neither a Chase or a Wait
The chasing and waiting stage might happen in the early beginning when the egoic impulse stage is very active and unhealed. In taking on this journey, you’ll eventually realize that it’s about awakening your inner masculine & feminine essences and learning how to love with them in balance. Once the healing has been worked through, the healed Twin will feel ready to release the connection. Whether “union” happens or not is another story. Nobody waits or chases. It just is.
Agents of Unconditional Love
Love is Love is Love is Love. The Twin Flame connection is a spiritual phenomenon that few people experience. This is a highly spiritual calling that is here to shake your misconceptions about The Truth and Unconditional Love.
You see, the spiritual purpose of a Twin Flame connection is to expand the energy of the Universe with love and joyfulness. In order to do this properly, they have to clean up their psychic and psychological energy through experience so as to allow that cosmic love to fully flow.
Twin Flames are the kind of people that attract attention everywhere they go because their vibrational energy is so high. When they are together, that energy is multiplied and they can feel this when they are in physical proximity to each other, almost like a ripple effect that is sent out from their bodies through the ground and into the world. I sometimes think of Twin Flames as cherubs on planet earth.
“It is the love that emanates from their union and expands the Universe.”-WhisperingInk
The downside to this is that when one of the Twins is aligned with pain or trauma, the other Twin immediately mirrors it and they are magnetically repelled, or separated. Because, why would Spirit want to multiply that kind of pain and send it out like a shockwave?
Separation is the most unbearable, unexplainable kind of pain for Twin Flames and it is usually when one of the Twins awakens to the journey. They know that they must do the inner healing work at all costs! When one Twin heals, so does the other. As you work on shaking off your own shadow side, the healing opens the way for more joy until the physical presence of the other person isn’t really that necessary anymore.
(If you’re interested, I recommend this great article on the 8 Stages of the Twin Flame Connection)
The Inner Light
So. If you’ve come this far, it’s probably because you feel connected to this topic somehow. If you believe that you are a Twin Flame and think that a few reiki sessions will do the trick before you and your Twin are reunited, you might want to think again. Healing emotional pain and trauma liberates situations and breaks down systemic contexts and paradigms… and that can take a long time to clear out and stabilize. Indeed, the ripple effect that was initially felt has already caused plenty of healing and change within each of you!
The very nature of your connection is vibrational, and the more you heal your traumas and issues, the more your twin heals as well. You’ll notice that the more you progress, the easier the telepathic communication will be and the synchronicities will become a part of your everyday life. You’ll know that the joy that you feel is also being felt in your twin, wherever they are… and whomever they’re with. You know that every experience that they are having out there without you is sacred, and that means that it is sacred for you too.
Will you be together again? Maybe you will, maybe you won’t, but that’s the point: The Twin Flame Journey is the ultimate lesson of faith and unconditional love for yourself. This is a journey that teaches you how to trust that you know how to give yourself unconditional love.
It’s an inside job!